I recently watched a segment on this subject, on where else but The Today Show. It struck a chord with me because I am not happy and haven’t been in a long time; BUT can I be content? Yes I can! I can get joy out of just being content. That is a positive. Being content is being grateful in your life, and that is a tool for being content in life.
This brings up another question for me. I am grateful for so many things in my life; healthy children and grandchildren, everything about nature, I live in a beautiful home, have good health insurance and am financially stable. There are many blessings in my life, it is the battle in my mind to keep these things forefront and not dwell on the unhappiness; a loveless marriage, no family around me, and the constant struggle of living with MS.
My question is, by focusing on the good, am I ignoring the bad, pushing it to the rear of my mind? I’ve learned that when I do that, eventually something will trigger and it comes rearing its ugly head, (going back to my post on “rage”). Is that just part of being human?
Then I come to the question of being both, Content and happy. I’m sure there are people who are both, (I know a few) and would love that in my lifetime. I can only admire that and at the same time be envious; leading to more questions. Am I settling? Should I put myself out there and try to find a loving relationship? Can I have it all? Realistically I feel I’m too old, will be 64 in 6 days. More questions: If I didn’t have MS I know I wouldn’t settle. Now my mind is thinking too much and I’ll leave this conversation to ponder.