Cancer – Astrological Sign and Me

June 21 – July 22

The reason I’m posting this is because my astrological sign is Cancer, July 8. I am a true Cancer through and through. On the above list you can check me all the way. One of the traits of a Cancer is that when hurt, just like a crab, I’ll withdraw into my shell, which I did this weekend.

Every year my husbands company has an Employee Appreciation Day in September. They actually buy out an amusement park, King’s Dominion, for a whole day. Open only for the employees and their families. We have been attending every year with my family. This year the company contracted with Busch Gardens! Bigger and better. I was so excited for my son, girlfriend, her daughter, my grandson and granddaughter to come down and go together. I texted them on Friday, the first we found out, letting them know the date. We discuss this several times throughout the year. I didn’t receive a response that night which I thought was very odd.

The next morning I texted him how he must have been too excited to answer. He texted me back that his girlfriend had made arrangements to go to Disney World that week. I was floored. They just got back from Florida. He forgot all about the appreciation day. He said she got it in her mind last week and right away made the arrangements, her mother is going too. He didn’t want to go because he is having his patio put in and wanted to be around. I had many many thoughts but kept quiet. I didn’t know what to say, I was so upset. I told him I was very upset and got off the phone.

He texted for us to join them. After thinking about it I declined. The rest of the weekend I didn’t want to go anywhere, I couldn’t sleep at night and yesterday I slept all afternoon. I totally withdrew from everything. Every time I think about it I cry, (I am not a crier) He said I should talk to her anyway, but I didn’t. There’s been no communication since. I know he feels bad.

I clamped down my negative urges. Some thoughts on what I could possibly say, would make me a martyr and I don’t want to do that. I added to my negative thoughts of her such as I never see my granddaughter in any outfits that I bought. The ones I buy that she agrees to, beautiful snow suit and life preserver, rarely worn. Stuffed personalized animals that sing not even being used, not feeding her enough healthy food. She does not save money, likes to drink too much, and lives in yoga pants and sneakers. There I got it all out. I hesitated putting that in, but I have to be honest. I don’t feel good about it because I do like her and think she is a good mother. I am jealous that her mother gets to see and be a part of their lives and is invited to Disney World. That is no one’s fault, it is just the way it is and unfortunately it sucks for me.

So now I go back to resenting my husband because if not for him, I would be in NY with my granddaughter. The best way to escape all this is to go in my shell and be left alone until I want to come out.

This fucking SEO is pissing me off. I go from total green happy face for readability to total red sad face for bad readability!