Sooo much going on in there that I haven’t been able to sleep. As usual I pass out quickly when I go to bed, but then faithfully anytime between 2 and 4 am, I am awake with my mind going 100 mph. At that point I turn on Nick at Nite, my standby, to watch easy fun shows and hopefully doze off. When Spongebob comes on I switch to Hallmark. Oh good, Lucy and Ricky just moved to the country, I love the country ones!
To start, we are going to NY on Friday. The baby’s christening is on Saturday. This has opened a can of worms. I need to find something to wear. Yesterday I tried on 3 pairs of black pants. My favorite pair, linen with a straight leg, size 7/8 would not fit me, had to lay on bed to zipper, which I did, but cut off any circulation, definitely not happening. The next pair, size 7/8, the waist was tight and I could live with it, but the legs were very wide, and I thought looked dated, not to my liking. There was a beautiful pair of Calvin Klein’s, fully lined with a tapered leg in a size 6. I took them out and questioned why did I want to torture myself when I knew they wouldn’t fit. Well lo and behold, miraculously they did fit.
I then pulled out a long sleeved leopard print top I bought at Kohl’s the day before. Next I tried on 3 black blazers. The first one I loved, part of a pant suit, (again pants had very wide legs). It had a subtle pin stripe which matched the color on the leopard print top. I thought that would be a little edgy. It was a size 7/8 and too tight. Next, a shorter black blazer, way too tight, went in Goodwill pile. Lastly a boyfriend type blazer in a size 10. That was it. I hung them up together as that would be the outfit i would wear. The more I looked at it the more I hated it. I wasn’t going to work, leopard top inappropriate for a christening. Now of course, I was exhausted. I had also taken it upon myself to shower and change the sheets. Y’all know my biggest symptom of MS is fatigue.
I started to hate myself again because in a, “I am normal (no MS) world”, I would probably have bought something new and most definitely would have worn a dress. I would not have gained the weight I have because I would be more active. I did seriously decide to go on a diet so I started keeping track of my calories on .http://www.MyFitnessPal.com . I’ve always lost weight when i used the app. I decided to start doing sit ups. All the weight is in my gut and thighs. Unfortunately I can’t start the bike because of my knee. It is very swollen and hurts badly, constant ache and more pain sitting down. Guess what, I couldn’t get down on the floor because of the knee pain, so there went the sit ups.
I’m supposed to call the doctor today, but I’m fighting the urge, (phonephobe) kicking in. I also need to call my daughter and cousin, also put off by my phonephobe. My cousin called me, which worked out fine. Now its 1:30 and I am mentally and physically shot. Oh yeah, I decided to clean the master bathroom.
I sat, had lunch, watched my shows, The Young and the Restless and Bold and the Beautiful, read the paper, had more anxiety reading about Trump and did some crosswords. Now its 3:00 and I made the bed with clean sheets, decided to clean the kitchen sink and the draws in the refrigerator. Big shock, I turned the kitchen faucet upside down, (never checked it before) and there was so much black all over it, I couldn’t believe it! I filled a small jar with vinegar and let it soak for 3 hours. I still had to remove gunk with q-tips soaked in vinegar.
Still on my mind, my grandson, who turns 16 while we’re in NY. I’m hoping we get to see him. That’s another stressful situation. My husband wants to go to Long Island to see his family for a couple of days and I don’t want to. I’ll go because its all about compromise and he does a lot for me. I’m also worried about Maggie, she is not doing good and will be staying with my son, who has the 2 dogs. His house is sooooo small, there is nowhere for her to go and escape the commotion and the other dogs steal her bed. My son reassured me she will be okay because my daughter will be there and she dotes on Maggie. When I mentioned it to her she got snotty and said she doesn’t know if she’ll have the time, (another reason I don’t want to call her).
Well that was yesterday and today things are slower, I cleaned just one bathroom. My husband went to the grocery store last night, so that is another worry taken care of. Tonight is the first presidential debate and I’m anxious about that. Anything to do with Trump and his lies and nastiness gives me anxiety. I hope ole Joe can hold his own.
Tomorrow I’m at the botanical gardens till 2 and I’ll most likely be writing about the debate under my category of Random Thoughts on Politics.