Home not so sweet Home

Well here we are back from the christening in NY. I have to say I’m happy to be home, BUT I’d be happier if my home was in NY! I do love this home and I love the yard, it seems wasted down here with no family or friends to share it with. The main reason I like to be home is knowing where I can shower and get ready comfortably. With MS and my privacy issues I need to feel secure in where I do these things.

The hotel is fine, I am very comfortable if it is accessible for me where I don’t need help. After the christening my husband wanted to go to Long Island to visit his mom. There, I am very uncomfortable. I sleep on the couch because me and Maggie can’t do the stairs. I won’t take a shower there because I have to share a bathroom with my mother in law and I also need help and I have to get dressed in her room. I planned it so that I showered the day we left the hotel and stayed 2 nights in Long Island and drove home on the third day so I can shower in my own home. I would be just as uncomfortable in my sons house and bathroom.

Anyway the christening couldn’t have been more perfect! The day was beautiful and she wore my 62 year old christening dress! The last time it was worn was 41 years ago when my daughter wore it! She slept until the water dripped on her head and woke up with a smile. She posed for pictures with everyone and we all went to celebrate at a restaurant for lunch and back to his house. I was so blessed that my grandson actually came and hung out with us all weekend! He was turning 16 two days later.

The following day we were all going to go to Perkins Drive. It is a seasonal road up the mountain to the top where there is no better place to be on a fall day. The view over the Hudson River is exceptional and you can see the Tappan Zee bridge, (Mario Cuomo) and even NYC. My grandson had never been there. We got across the river only to find out because of Covid, it was closed for the season. Bummer, change of plans. Instead we did the river walk along Peekskill’s riverfront. We had never been there . What a beautiful day, surrounded by my family along the gorgeous Hudson River! They did a magnificent job. There was a beautiful tribute garden to the firefighters lost on 9/11 with sculptures and a plaque commemorating a particular firefighter, Otice, who was from Peekskill, along with a big piece of steel from the twin towers. Very touching. There were sculptures throughout the river walk and it was just beautiful and of course handicap accessible, as I was in the wheelchair.

Afterward we ate at a restaurant, the same restaurant I waitressed in as a second job; the same restaurant/bar that I went out with the owner, and the same restaurant/bar I had many, many fun times in. By the way, the same bar I met my husband in at a Halloween party in 2001 after 9/11. I dressed up as an iron worker from down at the wreckage of the twin towers. People mistakenly thought that I was Heidi, the girl from Tool Time, (a Tim Allen show that was on at the time)

Sadly the night we arrived my sons dog was very sick. He had been texting me 2 days prior saying he was sick and that he brought him to the vet. The vet thought it was cancer but he had to have a ultrasound. The ultrasound came back that he was filled with tumors and cancer. My son brought him home and that’s when we arrived. He was sleeping in his bed, not moving, wouldn’t eat or drink. My son was hoping he would make it through the weekend. After a couple of hours my son tried to get him to go outside. He wouldn’t get up and when he tried to lift him, he was just dead weight with his mouth hanging open. We knew then that he had to be put down.

This is the hardest part of owning a dog. There is nothing like the love between owners and their dogs. It is overwhelming and the feeling of helplessness is despairing. The grief is all consuming. We all were in tears. My son was understandably devastated! I never saw him cry like that and I even held him. He had to buck up for the christening the next day, which he admirably did. People say it was a godsend that he was distracted during this hard time, but I don’t know.

So many memories from home came back to me this trip, it was and still is overwhelming. Everywhere we went I was flooded with thoughts of great times I’ve had which has made me more homesick than usual. I will address them in another entry as this one is long enough!