“I am so Unhappy and it is making me into a Miserable Person”

If someone said that to me, I would respond “Why, what’s going on?” I said this to P as we were leaving Short Pump Town Center. We had gone there to do some Christmas shopping. specifically for his family. As usual, it was a horrible trip. To me it should have been fun, taking our time, maybe eating out, looking at decorations, stopping for cappuccino’s. I spent most of the time waiting for him, which is fine except that he hates to wait for me. I express this to him and get no response. I state that if I know he was going to take so long that I could go to stores that I wanted to shop at. I still got no response.

Expectations – That is the problem. I went there with expectations of a pleasant afternoon when I already knew how it would be, because its always that way when we go out. He is impatient, always rushing me, he doesn’t find any joy in the season or decorations like I do. He tries to get gifts that are equal to the cost of what they get him. No sense of giving whatsoever. Being so opposite of me and the awe and wonder I get and the pleasure of finding someone a gift they will actually like, being little cost or a little more money that you wanted to spend.

“All She Ever Wanted was to Have Fun” – This is what I wanted it to say on my gravestone, (even though I want to be cremated) from such a young age, I don’t even remember when, its always been “my saying.” Here I am with the person who doesn’t know what fun is. If you ask him what he thinks is fun, he doesn’t know.

Emotionally Unavailable – Why oh why do I stay with men who are emotionally unavailable? The answer is deeper than this blog post.