The past two mornings I’ve woken up around 5 am with all these negaive thoughts and worries going round and round in my head. I can’t go back to sleep even though I try usinjg breathing techniques that I’ve used in the past. Here’s how it goes; Worrying about Jen and how she’s wasting her life sitting in a room she rents from a lady she hates who is addicted to FOX News. When I bailed her out almost a year ago she promised she was going to quit smoking, (pot, cigarettes) and as soon as she got health coverage to go on antidepressants. She has done neither and I’m hesitant to confront her because they’ll be another lapse where she doesn’t talk to me. INHALE, HOLD, EXHALE, REPEAT.

Next, dreading Pete coming home, (he’s been in NC since Thursday). I don’t like him and I’m miserable with him. Afraid of the steps I need to take to get out of this relationship. Obsessing about his hoarding and how he will never get rid of anything. Tired of living this way. INHALE, HOLD, EXHALE.

Next worrying about Bryan and why he never calls. Worrying that Brylee is growing up without me and I can’t stand it. Back to blaming Pete for taking me away. INHALE, HOLD, EXHALE, REPEAT.

This breathing technique has worked for me in the past, but this time its not working. I barely get to exhale and I’m worrying again.