We’re in the third week of January and each day I feel lower and lower. As more volunteers are coming back to the garden, I had to give up my Fridays. Now I go every Wednesday and 2nd and 5th Friday’s. By going twice a week, it saved me from myself and negative thoughts, now I’m trying to adjust. Being there makes me feel useful and “in the loop,” knowledgeable of what’s going on.
I’m also home with my husband a lot and that makes me anxious and more aware of what is missing in my life, i.e. (sex, love, affection, humor). At least when he’s not here I can distract myself and not think about it.
My little girl Maggie seems to be deteriorating and it is so hard to watch. Her legs are getting worse every day. We brought her to the vet the other day, (a new vet). We couldn’t go in with her because of Covid. We waited in the car. The vet told us she has severe arthritis in her legs, which we knew. She also has early kidney disease and something called Spondylosis. That is bony spurs attaching to her spine , this is a chronic condition that is also related to her age, and is very painful on top of the arthritis. Because she has early kidney disease, she cannot go on any anti-inflammatory drugs or steroids. So she can get no relief there. She did prescribe Gabapentin 100 mg to give twice a day for pain. The past two days she has diarrhea. Back to the vet we’ll go.
I am depressed about this blog too. No one is finding or reading it! I don’t understand the whole SEO thing and I’m going to pay another 99 dollars to get more help. I’ve been too down to even call, I’m just wallowing right now. I had 3 comments awhile ago responding to a post in “Random thoughts on politics.” They were positive and stated they liked what I was doing and to keep it up. After that nothing. I’m thinking of changing the name to My Life with MS, instead of My Boomer Mind. I thought the original name would attract more viewers but now I’m thinking the MS title might zero in on more followers specifically because of MS. I don’t know, I’m confused.
On top of all this is the political discourse that is always there causing more anxiety and disbelief.
Hopefully, this too shall pass