Here we are. I do love this home. I’ve made a few decorating mistakes. I don’t like the couch, loveseat and chair set. I love the dining table from Crate and Barrel, but it is too big. I can’t fit any other furniture, I had wanted to use a sideboard. In the living room I wanted the back of the bookshelves painted and I don’t like the color I chose. I’d love to repaint them myself but I can’t, they’re too high.

There is so much I want to do here, but along with that comes this huge feeling of helplessness. I had bought more curtains and I needed the rods taken down, I did the curtains and now he has to hang them up back up. I need things hung on the lanai but he has to do it.

I had made arrangements with friends, (from NY) to get together tomorrow but Rick can’t make it, just Monique. I would love for it to be just us but I can’t because we took the truck and it doesn’t have hand controls.

Then there’s the pool, in order to go in, Pete has to come and operate the chair thing to get me in the water. Everyone always stares. This helplessness is a recurring feeling every time we’re here.

I won’t even get started on the fact that Pete has filled every closet, cabinet and drawer with shit. So I guess I’ll stop bitching for now. Time to bury my brain.