I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for a few days now. I have an urge to talk to my sister, which I never have. I’m feeling ambivalent about my husband going away, being able to take care of Maggie, and my adult kids coming to stay. I have also been home alone a lot. I didn’t volunteer last week because of the weather and I can really feel it. I’m starting to isolate and I’m harboring feelings of inadequacy.
My husband took me to the mall on Saturday, specifically Macy’s. Unfortunately where the elevator is located, I always come out going through the party dresses section. That and the shoe section always starts me off feeling inadequate and the “if only’s” start. If only I didn’t have MS, I could wear these killer, sexy heels; if only I didn’t have MS, I would be buying these beautiful dresses; If only I didn’t have MS, I wouldn’t have gained weight; if only I didn’t have MS I would be dancing, hiking and not married to the man I’m married to. What a pity party I’m having!
I need friends, I need girlfriends. I need to feel useful and appreciated. This too shall pass
Thank you, I’d love any input