I’ve been wondering why I did this again. Being that I was married so young, 18, I loved being single. I loved having my own place, buying what I wanted, making my own decisions, having control over the TV. I loved dating, having new experiences, going to new places. Beyond all that, it didn’t take me long to figure out. When I met Pete, he enjoyed all of the above too. I had been engaged to John and with him for 10 years. A great guy who was totally antisocial, (history with John will be on the Pages section of this blog that I haven’t gotten to). Pete was social and would go anywhere, we were always going out to eat and listen to bands. One of our first dates, we went up on a balloon ride. How exhilarating! He was affectionate and we had a good sex life.
He was just starting a major renovation of his home and valued my input. His work ethic was obvious from the beginning. He would forget about time if he was busy working, totally oblivious of other plans. The difference was he would stop work and go out and have fun. At the time I could still walk and had very little MS symptoms.
15 years later, my MS symptoms are noticably worse. I am still outgoing and always ready for fun. Therein lays the problem. Pete is a big grump, he doesn’t want to do anything but work. Sex stopped soon after the marriage. No affection whatsoever. No fun ever. If we go to a concert or any occasion fun it is my doing and my expense. He is not even fun to go anywhere with. He hasn’t made any friends down here. He will throw me under the bus whenever we are with my family, (who all think he is a saint). He is a hoarder who won’t get rid of anything and we are too involved in properties and financially for me to ever find a way out.
The fact is he has changed, or has he. Have I been manipulated all along