We all know, (probably not, since no one reads this blog) that the two things that I miss more than anything else, since my legs don’t work, is hiking and dancing. This post is about dancing, again, because I’m still getting upset and resentful when put in a position where there is dancing.
This time it was at the botanical gardens. Every Thursday night during the summer they have an event called “Flowers after Five”. The gardens hours are extended from 5 to 9 pm. They have live music and offer food, wine and beer. Everyone brings their own chairs, blankets, pack up the kids and settle on the lawn and garden surrounding the entertainment. You can actually go anywhere in the garden to enjoy the music and the flowers.
We like to sit up by the band, of course because I am such a music lover and like to watch the band members performing. Every time we’ve gone the bands have been very good and they offer different genres of music. This night it was popular music, mostly dance music and a lot of fun. I love watching the little ones get up and dance, it is so precious. I think of my granddaughter up there and hopefully soon she will be. She is quite the dancer at 14 months and she moves with the music so you know she’s feeling it.
I enjoy watching everyone dance, I don’t criticize anyone because I feel as long as you are up there having fun, who cares what you look like. It’s all about having fun and feeling the music. I’ll enjoy it for so long and then I get mad that I can’t get up there and boogie. I picture the old me up there dancing up a storm. I get so resentful that I have to leave before I get too down about it. Weddings are the worst because all my cousins are up there and I can’t be. Tears come down each time. Anyway, we started to head out through the Japanese garden and around areas we hadn’t seen on the way down.
I mentioned it to other volunteers in the garden shop and they came back with, “don’t you wheelchair dance and they’ve seen some really good wheelchair dancers.” To this I strongly replied , “NO.” I’ve been in situations before with other wheelchair participants who did “dance” using their upper bodies, arms flailing. I got talked into doing that and I felt foolish and not like I was dancing at all! Half body, half assed is how I felt. All or nothing, no room for grey.
I will continue to attend events like this and weddings and maybe some day I’ll get over it.