The first person that I know has just died from Covid 19. My last post was about how I was thinking about death so much lately. I wonder if there was a premonition there. He certainly wasn’t prepared. I don’t think anyone with this is. It seems you go into the hospital one day, put on a respirator and never come out. At least that’s how it was with him.
It is so surreal living day to day with this virus. The stats aren’t positive and the president keeps saying everything’s under control when clearly it isn’t. Some people are fanatics about following CDC recommendations, and others, like me are middle of the road.
I’ve been to retail stores, grocery stores, traveled to NY and back and I’m volunteering at a retail store. I always wear a face mask and sometimes rubber gloves. I feel my son and his family aren’t taking enough precautions for having a new baby. They go where they want and have a lot of visitors.
Then there are people who totally disregard any warnings and think they are invincible, or don’t want to be told what to do. My ex brother-in-law falls under this category. He was a big Trump supporter and no one can tell him what to do. On the other hand he was 66 years old with a history of heart problems and he drank too much. He went to a 4th of July party and contracted Covid 19.
Notice how the word “was” in bold. That is because he died yesterday in the hospital all alone. I don’t even think he knew what hit him. He was on a respirator almost immediately and the doctor said if he hadn’t had those preconditions, he would have pulled through. I knew him, he didn’t want to die. He lived life to his fullest. He was larger than life. A very handsome guy from his youth and quite charming. He was the toast of the town. His personal relationships didn’t fare quite so well, (he was estranged from his son). When facing his demise, what mattered was his personal relationship with his only son. He called out for him. His son begged to see him, but couldn’t. Unfortunately he died before it could get resolved. He loved his son and his son loved him, but he was too stubborn to face it and next thing you knew he was dead.
I wonder how many times this has played out in other circumstances of people dying of Covid 19 alone. Even having great relationships, the thought of not being able to say goodbye and proclaim your love is so sad. The fact of dying alone.