This has been a tough week for me. I have been missing my children and felt the need to be around them. I’ve been texting with my daughter and my son is amongst the missing. Ever since I texted him about the free trip to Busch Gardens, I haven’t heard anything.
That tells me that his relationship is off again because he can’t commit to going anywhere. Yesterday I texted him a Happy Father’s Day and we ended up doing a Portal. I was right, they are not together. I completely understand because they have the same problems, they were never resolved. You can pretend but eventually they come back to the surface again. Just like my relationship. I don’t let him know that, (its too private). He is still young, healthy and handsome. It does kill him being away from his daughter and he gets her as much as he can. So nevertheless that made me once again confront my own relationship or lack thereof, so that added to my feeling down.
I was upset that I didn’t win the Sirius XM contest to see Paul McCartney’s last show on his American tour, which was Friday night. I enter ALOT of contests, some I want to win more than others. This is one that I was really counting on. I am of the mindset that is very positive when it comes to being hopeful that I can win something that I want SO BADLY! I watched snippets of the concert, where Bruce Springsteen came out and they sang together and also Jon Bon Jovi. Although I am fans of both, I really only cared about seeing Paul again. Losing that and not going to this concert made me feel like a loser.
So now the downfall of my brain keeps adding reasons to not like myself, my life and my looks.