Today for some reason I’ve snapped out of it. Yesterday I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. The issues that have kept me down are still there. I was so defeated the other day by writing that I just couldn’t address anything else. It all comes down to laziness on my part. I don’t know why I don’t follow up on things that I should, that would make my life more productive and happy.
A major issue for me is this blog. I started it and continue to use it as an online journal. It is pretty basic. I know I could enhance it in many ways. I don’t investigate how to make it better. My mind gets jammed up just thinking about it. I’m afraid I’ll mess up and lose everything. I can’t concentrate enough to do it. I think that is where my ADHD comes in. I get emails from Bluehost and WordPress offering free support and I know there is an online forum for users when they have trouble. I feel overwhelmed by that. I need either written step by step instructions or the personal help offered by Bluehost, which I’ve used before. I was going to sign up for another month but we’re going away twice in the next two months and I want to take advantage of the full month of help. I also was excited to get comments, but upon reading determined they were spam. Another thing, this SEO shit. I don’t get it, what do they want from me?
I should also be writing an article for one of my MS magazines, which would bring more traffic to this blog, and I haven’t written a damn thing. I also started crafting again, going gung-ho, making more Christmas stockings, and now their just sitting there on my sewing table. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I can’t get motivated.
My next issue is my kids, (both adults). I think my son drinks too much and my daughter has nothing going on, no job, not even trying. She just had her breast implants removed, (I sent her money even though I swore I wouldn’t again) Her son lives in NY with his other grandparents and she’s not making any effort to move back and be with him.
As I went to go publish this, I must have pressed a wrong button and an error message came up and I couldn’t fix it and had to sign out. I signed in now, an hour and half later, of what I wrote is gone, at least not all of it. I would have given up if the whole thing had disappeared.